*

life will be better
for this i am
not so sure

you know,
i woke up
this morning
so filled
with this
happy morning
falseness
that the sunny
spring day
sometimes
plays on you
as some
cruel joke

you know,
so i goes
outsides
for a smokes
and
i'm singing
this happy
song
to the dog
coz
yesterday
he was
sad
i was sad
and he's
in this
damn if
i know
god forsaken
mofo
igloo
type ordeal
to live in
chained
no doubt
coz he's
supposed
to be
some sort
of mean
rottweiler
but he's
just an
old softy
and wouldn't
couldn't
barely could
chase down
an old bumblebee
breathing
in her
last winter
breath
you know
the kind
of bee
i'm talking
about too,
the kind
like a big
old ancient fly
that's been
around for
centuries,
must be,
and flies
so slow
and buzzes
really loud
and is just
so annoying
but so darned
pathetic
yet cute
you just
don't have
the nerve
to kill it

that kind
of bumble bee
that kind
of fly

that kind
of dog

well,
he's out
there hiding
in his makeshift
eskimo igloo
minus
the bear fur
and parka
add the skis
and hey,
he's rolling
fat

but,
it was raining
and he was sad
and i was sad
so today
we were happy
and it was
sunny
and it
was the
temporary
happy
that comes
from
early morning
caffeine
and hopes
for a better
mood for the day
but what
the heck
you know,
you got
to just
roll with
it all
these days
coz you just
don't know,
you just
can't know
what the
next day
will bring

probably
another rainy
day
talking to
the dog
in the igloo
while you are
attempting
to smoke
your cig
in the rain

damn the luck
darn the life
it get's hideous
tiring
weary

just did
my tour de france
or tour de duty
spent some days
in the bin
for my depression
which never ends
never ends
and i told
the doc,
doc,
"it never ends"
and you know,
i'm not going
to get any better
than this, you
know after all
my tragedy
changed up
and wracked up
my bowling pins
and shifted
my metropolis
or brought in
the new current
flowing through
the counterparts
of the dendrites
that misfuckingfire
on a daily basis

and so it goes
another day
in the life
of a depressive

i don't want
to be here
who in there
right mind does
and if they do
what are they taking?
coz by god
they are either
seeing God
up close and personal,
or taking something
believing they are

excuse me,
i want what
they are having please,
thankyou very much,
and elvis
has left the building,
and he ain't coming
back anytime soon
world.

so pass me
the tabs
and the cets
and a coca-cola
with some fizz
so it burns
my throat
when i drink it.

and i'm gonna
buy this old dog
a big old parka
for next winter
so at least
he looks the
damned eskimo
part
by god,
if he has
to live in
some roundabout
plastic igloo,
jesus bring
on some fur
dudes
hello?
hello?

i mean seriously,
someone should
be fired,
for misfiring
their
ideas
we're talking
midwest dogs here,
igloo?
plastic igloo?

when you think
dogs,
you think you

would you wish
to live outside
in a plastic
fucking igloo??

i know some
people who deserve
to live chained
up outside
to the igloo
and dogs
that need
to live inside
i'm telling you
that right now
but God isn't
listening
because
he gave up
and left us here
to rot
i suppose
coz i'm self-rotting
like an
old banana peel
on top
of a garbage heap
called the world

he isn't my dog
i almost
unchained him
today
and walked
him to the
interstate
and hitchhiked
which is by law
illegal now,
don't ya know,
it's illegal
to walk,
yes walk,
on the side
of the interstate!

talk about
having no rights
left,
you can't even
walk
without
being
arrested

so i ditched
that idea
and decide
instead
to drink
my insta
coffee
from the
tiny little
insta machine
and smoke
my cigs
and plop
my wet ass
on this big
green turtle
someone left
out in my
friends
back yard
where the
dog is
some makeshift
frickin' toy
or some shit
and i plopped
down and it
made some noise
and i sunk

and i'm thinking,
you know,
i'm doomed,
this sucks,
i don't care
anymore,
i just want
to make
the damn finish line
that's all
i care about
is watching
my six year old
grow up
and making
it to the finish line
like the giant
mr. potato head
balloon
in that Turkey Day
Macy's Parade
he makes it
to the finish line
last year
but the year before
he pooped out
on the crowd
and i want
to wave my arms
as i run through
the tape
and have the crowd
yell
and say,
yeah, she made it!
through her life!
she made it
to the end!

what a winner!
she now wins
a round trip
ticket to L.A.
to be on
the Price is Right
come on down

yep.