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blood stained feet
walking
where others
fail to meet
their makers
i choose
to re-create
my life
the change
upon me
so great
the smallest
tear
is from
the widest
fear
of being alone
forever
the china
fragile
break it
silently
hollow sounding
heart
hounds
like
dirt dogs
in far off
wars
i'm certain
i'm at
my final
curtain
and the
details
we could spare
not
as i round
myself
like a top
and prepare
my scene
as the
dancing queen
the tragic
figurine
who can never
figure out
her own dreams
are burnt
by the schemes
of many
a bad hand
a painted
tainted
heart
that parts
the sea
like
twin
dualities
all love
is lost
the cost
painful
a brief
recess
unsuccessful
even at
living
out my
life
alone
never
would i
have thought
what should
have been
my better years
would be
stricken
with such
grief and fear
that
only
deep
sorrow
and tragic
loss can
ever find
in the
dark
corners
of the mind
it's hidden
behind
the curtain
the stain
glass curtain
that keeps
me in
my tragedy
until
i play out
the last part
of my
destiny
if i dare
not to forgive
then i deem
myself
unforgiveable
as this
life
has
been
to me
the dancer
on top
of the tree
solo
accompanied
by me
twirling
like a hurly bird
a naked seed
a running
bleed
as i paint
with
the pink
peonie
the blood
drips
all over
me
scars
will one
day have
to be explained
explored
retained
forgotten
wars
of the heart
let them part
ways
with the
heart
that never
was meant
to stay
on this earth
for as long
as it has
i only know
i wish
i could take
it all back
but it never
lasts
like sand
falling
through
the cracks
in my hands
the bland
the china
was sold
you know
and it was
cracked in
places
that made
the roses
look like
fragile
life forces
on a mere platter
it no longer
matters
that the heart
is pinned
to the sin
of others
passion stolen
when glances
are bold
and chances
are
i'll never
get far enough
away
from
myself
to dance
my final
curtain call
everyone
fades to
an ash
colored dust
with a blush
painted
on the cheeks
blood
once rubbed
against
my skin
and dripped
down into
the pits
of bitter hell
where everyone
fell
that year
and i
crawled
in crises
and called
to God
and beg
for mercy
and live
with this
tattered
shorn sheep
like matter
on my head
like a mop
of blonde rope
a brick of
skinned goat
soap
that
cleanses
the outside
but dusts
the inner guts
into the deepest
ruts of despair
i have no
curiosity
left to stare
down
i'm there
i know not
where
i'll spend
out my final
prayer
but it is there
that i will
meet
his feet
bloodied
nailed
a wooden cross
a purple rose
a thorn
in my eye
a single tear
that fell
from the sky
that night
i was holy
this day
i am temporal
i shall seek
refuge
in nothingness
forever spinning
in circle
like tops
put the stop
on this life
and hold on
for the long ride
reside sublime
until death
chimes in
with it's
horny grin
and reaps
and rapes
my world
again
i take
solace
in nature
and
the
animal
kingdom
they are
the only
things
grounded
right
now
the
only
true
holy
innocence
everything else
is so
up in the air
betrayed
betrayal
the dark stab
in the deep back
the multiple
attack
from the
spawn
that grew
from the
raven
that brought
his crew
unto
my mother's
fence post
that day
we knew
someone
was to pass
soon
where
the night
enters
the dawns
twilight
i bask
in the glory
of all
the seeds
that harvest
the new
morning
of hope
in God's
kingdom
where
innocence
never passes
for aged lasses
filled with
glass menageries
from hell's
bloody sanctuary
of stained wine
but the raccoon
has no bone
to pick with me
a flesh eater
it can be
but she
comes
delicately
without noise
and eats
her food
with grace
and ladylike
dignity
and
leaves
behind
little mess
and
a blessed
thankfulness
for this day
unlike
the cruelty
of mankind
mere earthlings
rogues
who remain
blindfolded
encrusted
in the old mold
wisdom
that tricks
the fine mind
into doing
things
unkind
to souls
not yet
defined
by God's
time
my great God
even the blind
feel such trickery
held behind
the veiled
black
curtain call
i heard
every screech
in the
dark silence
a call
so wild
the lone wolf
cannot
claim
as it's own
i've coddled
in what
softness
there is left
no pretense
in this life
a sleeping bag
worn on top
of several pillows
i call my home
where the birds
squeak
in morning delight
at what God
leaves them
each night
like fairy dust
they are graced
unlike us
who trudge
begrudge
each other's
love
make mud
in the fields
where
the orange
lily
lie
openly
wounded
flies swarm
my
half-closed eyes
like dead carcus
on a
meat
market
post
left
to hang
where most
folks go to
gawk
at the leftover
years
when the tears
fail to ease
the ailments
caused
by man
inflicted
wounds
in backs
where the
hand
can never
reach far
enough
to stop
the attack
the pit
of the back
between the
blades
of the shoulder
remain
the scars
of the past
where
family first
is the one
who laughs
the most
and caused
the pain
that rains
on the heart
of the child
that is never
ashamed
to keep trying
to survive
to make
it holy
to the
finish line
hold
on
to
the
rail
the
mighty
grail
how
frail
and
tragic
figure
that
i am
i beg God
nightly
to remove
these knives
they've
carefully
placed
in my back
i can't rest
for the
relentless
attack
on my life
all for nothing
but pride
and a pocket
full of
mother's
money
and i remain
in poverty
by choice
because
the blood
spilled
over her
death
runneth
in my cup
and i drink
it daily
what they left
of my life
i don't share
their lack
of faith
they lost
the race
and will
rot in place
where the
rocks
thrown upon
the mud
on top
of the pile
a bag of bones
a megaphone
screaming
fake tears
where a
child
should
still be
dreaming
stripped
of all but
my skin
i am heavenly
still within
and faith
i do not lack
it's the attack
i cannot
hold them back
and my death
they clock
in minutes
and stop
and stare
at the watch
as it unwinds
in my favor
i do declare
i find their kind
quite unsavory
backstabbing
back room
bitches
brewing
trouble
causing
flames
a false bubble
around my
childhood
a lie
i knew
they had
it in them
to make
the people die
that got in
their way
their evil
disguise
the church
the bell
they ring
in their
private hell
i pick up
the tattered
piece
of my torn
mother's
blouse
and cry
on the couch
and vow to never
accept another
man named
father
but the one
who looked
in my eye
that morning
sky
so blue
the hue
so new
i couldn't
paint
it blue
if i tried
it's a mystic
journey
into time
and mother
and i
scream
in sheer
terror
at the horror
that they left
the prayer
of the angels
she saw
while i
painted
the purple
cross
i wear the
scars
no temptation
they are
barred
from my life
and i will
carry
my weight
like lost
luggage
on a freight train
out of their
hellish nightmare
where money
is their
highest
regard
beg not
for your life
with
these kind
these kind
destroy
and re-create
from their
hate
look up
options
in their
black book
evil ridden
lies
i despise
what they
have done
to our lives
mother
and i no longer
cry for them
i shall pity
them when
their eyes
see
the
sky
split
and
God
denies
them
access
a pass
they opt
out of now
for temporal
order
and
earthly
desires
i aspire
for more
higher
ground
and will
live down
close to
the ground
where the
animals
hound
and save
me
from
the men
who come
in black
to raise the
curtain
and draw
the sack
over my head
and stab
my back
until
i bleed
purple stars
in my eyes
and find
the time
to recognize
the devil
in all mankind
an evil seed
spawned
a long time
ago
it came
and passed
over my life
and took
my people
and left
my eyes
so wide open
i can no longer
take the ride
into the cosmic
vibe
because
i am there
by god's
natural
grace
and there,
noone to
take my place
until then,
i host a
thousand
animal friends
and plant
my seeds
into the earth
and watch
the flower
grow purple
in new birth
