*

the after birth

the bitter taste

of a dead love

ashes wrapped

in a long black glove
sorrow cloaked in cape

draped around

the sunken shoulders

of the brow beaten ship

only angels know

when the fools break apart

the joined hearts

the piper

awaits your take

at his gate

deathly desires

choked out

by the fire too soon

smouldering coals

i lay alone in ruin

the end all this time

time leaves me a cynic

for my own heart

deep emphathy

for other's departed

destroyed by a force

so bitter the strong hold

strangle, what nerve

the noose wrapped tight

around the neck

bruised

little room for pity

nothing left

for chance

the spirit dance

left you for dead

after he pulled

every single

blonde strand

from your aching head

grasped the last breath

in your bed

and left you with

an unvictorious crown

of unglorious thorns

damp blood running down

softly on the blackened cheeks

the silkened sheets disguise

there is no lie

some people just die

when the heart departs

from the soul

it once believed in

so true

the deep blue

turns the heart black

no turning back

the pain

unarrested

the life invested

detested

rotted out corpse

you still yearn

to burn the candle

at both ends

as in life

so in death

to keep near your side

the darkened bride

bide your time

the rose

never will grow

in hell

spit out the nails

the long train home

soul derailed

the attack is relentless

there is no cross to bear

noone hears the prayer

every hair is yours

skin prickled

with a shivering disgrace

picked apart bones

chopped wood burned

on the headstone

of mother's grave

engraved artistry

detached misery

love your company

hate your master plan

no more

the evil heeds

little need to

even the score

when time finally

stops the inner clock

the deathly gaze

dead inside

the spirit glides

in lovely grace

the memory

can never be replaced

the seed can't

be replanted

enchanted love

a dream from above

the ghost graces

the empty grave

where she stands

in twilight's

stillest silence

with the wilting

purple rose

of doom

the room closed

from further view

no longer to ever

begin anew

life turns it's back

on you

attacks

when you are turning

the deepest blue

wavering in fear

the blackest of nights

late is the hour

the harsh force

the powerful source

that seeks to seep

indiscreet

out the life

in the still

innocent heart

how unwarming

the charm is unfolding

into a a nightmare of death

a careless dance

one last night

of eternal romance

a coarse whisper

brutal cold

death like hands

cannot accept

this nod into night

afraid to be touched

by the corpse

who still wore

the rose

drooping

in horror

dangling

in sorrow

from his

pale departed

parted lips

the dalliance

an alliance

with an angel

somewhere

unplanned

by common man

unforeseen

the hideous tramp

that trickles

it's death dust

swept in time

under the fading rug

on the dawn of

wet dream

gone wrong

i do detest

the final rest

you gave us

unwarranted

unforgiven

stolen moments

a silent kiss

in the dark

detesting

the last

earth shaking

mind bending

death rattle

as the baby

cries

a tiny cackle

of hope

these new seeds

sown

do not go

unnoticed

death destructed

misconstrued from

too much space

in between the days

the blinding haze

of a light

in the frozen dark

the moods came in

and blew the flower

that lay between

the pillow and the hair

in braids

he cut those too

gutted open

darkened glory

the story never changes

tragedy in slow motion
the curtain call

i never heard

the last vows

spoken

between lovers

crushed the lovely spirit

brushed by death

the girl child

mild mannered

shy grin

never to return

ever again,

the victor wins

invisible man in action

evil in midnight play

keep the distance

the truest heart stays

love can never win alone

there's no entry

near God's throne

without the faith

that was borne

with the child

faith burns

the flickered

candle burns

hope into choking tears

of sorrow

and joy

mixed blsessing

or

a cocktail

from hell

the course the action

a twin force of deceit

a cruel unreaction

there's nothing left

that hasn't already

been seen

by the naked eye

little to burn

but the ashes

in the urn

the heart

no longer turns

and the world can burn

at your feet

you wouldn't feel a thing

but the broken bones in your feet

from dancing to the moonlit

sample of pits of false lit candles

that blow out

with every whisper

of love

promises

of eternity

crossed

through the veils

the divine rapture

in the dark

night

that crawls

on in your

mind

forever

sketched

etched

in cold stone

slumber

of walking

dead

the carpals

the carcus

the dead speak

winged angels

with hat

and feather

speaks beauty

moves weakly

in spirit dance

the defeat

the loneliest dance

a prance

across the grave

where the love

of your life

lay with a sword

by his side

while the others

come to hide

and take what's left

of yourtortured heart

how they try

to make it die...die..die...

the bell rings twice

the wounds bleed fury

in cold black blood

spilled over

into the mud

the ice pit

frozen in time

the stare

in mirror

the empty space

the place

the hole they dug

so they can erase you too

a spit back spitoon

and a back hoe

all that is left

in my flower garden

a tombstone and thorny rose

blood dripping from my nose

my eye

a bloody disguise

a purple suprise

i'm not delighted

with this life

will never abide

by it's laws

of nature

it's digusting

lack of grace

it's uncourteous

state of denying

the finalization of dying

with dignity

pin pricked fingernails

chipped to the bone

digging for my life

buried alive

wrapped tight

by the tightly

construed lines

in my own vineyard

what year shall we drink to?

e tu?

eres tu,

my eternal one

*

Sad Lisa



it's no shame
to figure out
it was a money game
all along
it happens
when all your
illusions
are crushed

everyone
you ever loved
you find
leaving life
too soon
or maybe,
it is you,
who cannot
leave
soon enough

who am I to judge
the trudgery
other's hearts
bear weight
that even in
waiting
the pain
has little
restraint

take the greys
blend them solid
dark purple hues
and deep navy blues

my eyes
have died
the colors
have all faded

like the tree
it looks so perfect
standing tall
near the field

nobody needs to know
that my first pet
is buried under it

the telling of truths
are just too bold
for the masses
who hold on
tight
to anything
that relieves
the hidden fright
of this temporary life

i'd burn out
if i could
trust the process

the beautiful bang theory
slightly adjusted
for the malajusted
daughter of the woods

pining for a love
lost in the deep vines
entangled
in her unsprouted
doubted heart

a final dud
a broken firework
on a rainy fourth of july

i'm destined
for an eternal
burden
of busted lust
where the jester
is anything but kind
a mean spirit
behind the laughing eyes
a lost lullaby
like this grief
my life
fades as slow
as a rust
being dusted
off a failed affair
that never generated
enough air
to spread
the wings
open

there's always a glitch
always a
tattered
mind shattering
piece of purple
hitched on
the tail end
of that shining star

the smell
of rubber burning
a tire
a smoked out desire
i'd be lying
if i wanted
to live this life
as it stands
when it falls

some of us
never get the call
and if comes,
we never heed it
no need for it
when you hear
it too late
like a bell
ringing on an
off church day
somehow,
it doesn't stay
in the heart the same way

even in death
there is that
in between space
the mind can't erase
noone can make up
for the space
that mother left

that ugly muck grey
that stays
on your shoes
like cemented glue
the taste of paste
the bitter hues
the afterbirth
the worst of the worst
the nightmare
of having to live
inside the flame
of a decaying spirit

a smashed version
of the mundane
who wishes
for
this death kiss?

that never fails
to put a dull pale
a shade of grey
on the sun

pull a massive
shadow over the moon
hide your tears
they all die too soon

it's the tedium
that questions
my existence

ashes of deep
years of grief
nothing ever complete
in my life
again

when will it end
did it ever truly begin
as i once saw it
through the eyes
of a child?

perception is lost
even color
has a cost

my turn
has come
and gone

the only magic
left is the
in between color
before dawn

before the mind
can set the heart
straight

the moment
when reality
begins to seep in
the spirit
crawls
out the night door
like a whore
without option

say no more

try to unwind
it flings back
in an eye twink,
a slinky,
a wired freak
waving
in the eye
of the forbidden
purple sky

*

oh, the faded bow

from a purple dream

did it rain?

the ticker tape parade

that never came
the horror

of seeing

it all too soon

deafening sounds

of silent wounds

that lay open

unattended

ungroomed

for anything

more in this life

there is little room

for me

my doubts

my depressive history

i can't get out

i found the missing piece

it just won't fit

i figure

if i can get

the pieces together

then i can get past it

if i can get in

then maybe

i can outlast this

bout with such doubts

of my own impemding doom

the double edge sword

i'm tied to the tragic

for life

blinded no more

by the distraction

the disillusion gone

so unfit

the amusing

social graces

that dalliance

on the grave delights

of others bound to slavery

by their warped past

infinite sinsiter family tree

i wage no more battle

with thee,my father

your tree is rootless

swimming in a bottomless sea

of mud slidesfrom hell

i can't erase the memory

of her face

the distant clouds

in the space

of time

that moment,

i graced

betroythed the betrayal

withold the symphathy

there is little emphathy

for the last one left

standing

too alive

like

a wild animal

a beast that night

riding on high

screaming shattered

dreams to a darkened highway

where even at

that very day

noone but

the

red lights

came my way

waiting for me

at death's final door

the nail

hammered

in the ziplock makeshift coffin

fuel for the masses

to feed off of

i'm nothing if not

a product

of my own tragic

existence

my god

you can't deny

the truth

when i spy

and hear

the words

the ruse

they used

to block

her continuing

painful

experience

with their cruel

form of existence

the tangled web

still encounters

in the depths

of her dream

my purple

plastic bow

torn

withered

like the flowers

left lying

hopelessly dying

on the grave

a false parade

a mere sharade

a faithless show

an ode

to one born

so brillantly bright

shining light

pure purple

the shame

to see the dream

then slowly

fade to

an unmemorable

pale lavender shade

draw the blinds

it isn't time

for her to put

the flame out

it's still hot

the body

the warmth

of breath on

her lips

so cold

like ice

the eye

all knowing

only God

can lie inside

the truth of the eye

the ribbon falls

the pale

white haired child

watches it

blow slowly

like a lost feather

poof

and with

one swift kick

it's all over

what was

what never

would ever be

the life

the innocence

torn

the life

she knew

stripped away

no more the glue
just pasty white skin

lying vacated

waiting

for the next

train

if you hear

the sound

you aren't dying

the last bow
she's bound

to pick

it up soon
wrap it up

fine tune it all

make it come

out all pretty now,

not raw

the faded lost

lace

the eyelet innocence

when the child

falls from the grace

of the family

for taking no place

near the disgrace

they left

no human

should ever have

to face head on

alone

i find no solace

in this life

without the

lost love

the cruelest measure

tested on man

has to be his diligence

in being able

to live out his life

every single night

not a day gone by

without some momento

of tragic whine

creeping through

the tattered vines

that wrap her up

entwined

like dead swine

in an orwell shrine

unmended

fence

in due time

to fall

this tragic

flesh

freshly stuck

mindlike

fresh playdoh

glued on the hand

that betrayed us all

stabbed in the dark

her will

the mark

the beast

i'll not feast

with their kind

i demand a new life

they stole my life

raped my reality

from my mind

in one still frame

that will never

find a way

out

stripped naked

for the world

to judge

a poker face run

that failed

in the first inning

i'm done with this lie

this life half lived disguise

a pain filled purple eye

that hides her pain

and bleeds

never

a refrain

from her feeble attempts

at freeing her mother

tied to the bottom rock

that sunk the ship

that is eating

the whole isolated trip

into sacks of broken rocks

shallow shattered dreams

that never seem

like the mirage

they were that day

by the bay

that instant

i knew my life

went astray

we struck upon something
i can't punch

my way out

of this one

the omen

that will only go down

if i let it bleed fast

i'm only hindering

the evil

allowing it to last

in my own heart

take this sharp and scrape

the hesitation marks,

that is a lie

people who cut

want to die

there was no hesitation

in spirit

the vein

just sunk

like a lost spirit

searching for it's junk

under the street corner light

i'm not frightened

i'm not overtly delighted

i'm tedium at best

boredom

in a long rest

no peace for weary souls

trying to free themselves

from the chained past

that shackles

the last noise

they hear

is the sound

of nothingness

in the air

the world

just stopped the clock
that moment

rock bottom

crashed at the midnight hour

i cruised the shadows

off the wall

bounced the sound

to make it further away

but it stayed too silent

it cracked like iced

overcrystalized bones

that punctured my heart

and left me bleeding

torn apart for life

i feed off

the dark blood

that seeps

in the mud

that father

left me

to pitch

my last ditch

effortless fork in

blood on the

white rug

mother's blonde hair

wounded upright

in the deadend air

the despair

only silence

can swear by

i wanted it

to be me

laying there

inside my heart
a sound

too still

it was frightening

so silent

achingly alone

aloof in it's

mocking

of me

it chilled my bones

into the ground

with her ashes

scattered around me
the isolated

echoe

only the start

of my deafening

defiance against life

i'm hanging

upside down

bat style

bottom rung

world undone

hold tight

this ladder

i need

no sadder existence

than the knowledge

of my own resistance

to climb out of my pain