somewhere
along these lines
that the world
has enclosed me
so fine tuned
in hidden deep
inside
it's thin walls
i bailed
jumped ship
i missed a payday
added
a vacation day
to the mix
i don't know
all about life
i don't pretend
to wear
the i know
disguise
look inside
my green eyes
and see the sadness
that remains
the madness
that came and
swept
up the outer
rain and brought
it inside
to my heart
for a shelter
a new place
to start
rain parade
the same purple sharade
everyone showed
but me
i missed
my own dream
slid past
the metal seams
of the zipper
as i caught
myself
inside bleeding
belly up
fish on the bank
it's sand
man
slides into
my every night
and crucifies my sight
with hymns of
death
a reel to reel,
unreal scene
in a movie
i once dreamed
my mother
the lead actress
of the picture
show
now
the wind
blows hard
like a cheap
shard of glass
it acknowledges
at last
it's stuck
in between
my heart parts
once purple
now blue
bloodied
unloved
child
at large
all this
icy sadness
hidden in
some sort
of glass
madness
cracked
with the horror
a lonely digrace
a lovely
misplaced
tulip
wilted
from a
childhood
dream
that escaped
my scene
my sight
it bled
all right
all night
the dead
they live
in my torn
apart heart
the bastards
who started
this war
all hang out
to watch
the end
and there is
no end
it keeps
going on and on
like an old
western flick
with me
and the world
at large
at a standoff
guns in hand
i shoot in mid-air
to let the world
know the
child still cares
and is alive
alive!
and the world
with it's life
size canon balls
wants to subside
my doomed life
with such strife
that it waits
until my back
is hidden
and the attack
begins
with the shooting
walls of cannonized
balls that move
in silent motion
all in a patriarchal
nightmarish scheme
i didn't dream
this dream
i couldn't have
made such misery
out of mushed
beans in head
it's all been said
we die
we lie
we live
and cry
in this hell
and bake open
the potted geese
are coming
to roost
in your garden
of eden
and bask
the glory
and hit
the nail
on it's god
forbidden head
and try
being dead
inside
the rest
of your life
like mine
a half-pint
sized
used
to be life
now riddled
with jeckyl
and hyde lies
half hidden
in a mean disguise
it's the eyes
in the eyes
it's the unjust
reality
that must
force itself
into your
mind
every time
i turn around
i find another
dime
that's flipped
it's lid
on top
of my
garbage bin
and a penny
fell out of
my shoe too
heads up
my tail
is broke
the monkey
rode my back
with a sack
filled with
paper flies
and i'm dying here
inside my mind
every night
trying to align
my life
according
to the stars
but the sky
won't fit
it's blue
then black
then hit
with the
purple sack
of dead flies
the stars
won't shine
bright enough
i can't find the way
back from
the lost Oz
and
i declare
a misfit surrender
in night air
i clear the heart
of all the webs
and the deceit
is still there
and my reality
topsideded
and
i'm lopsided
an
upside
down popsicle
iced
heart
melting
purple blood
on my cuffs
where the
sound was
muffled
and the air
stagnant
and the lies
a repugnant
smell
of
hushed evil
that even
they deny
they own
such hearts
of crowned
cloned
bite sized
bitter men
of greed
upside
down
purple popsicle
dripping
blood
in my own
mouth
drowning
out my
auto
sounding
howling
scenes that
destruct so
such
misconstrued lies
i can't buy
what
they are selling
it's not my time
somewhere
along these lines,
i bailed
skipped life
entered
directly to hell
skipped a few lines
in the chapter
and moved
ahead
before
the laughter track
could catch up
these things happen
when your
fragile reality
has been shaken
so traumatically
evil shaking
it's head
at the laughing
monkey
i must be dead
move ahead
make room
for more
dread
and
doom
the dead
never
rise again
in their
own rooms
spewn torn
laughter ridden
monkey men
who ride
the wild west
into it's hidden past
only to laugh
the only last
discarded
past
the throw
down begins
before
i can pick
up the sign
that evil
looms
ahead
i have
no clue
who the man
behind the
glass curtain is
the one
behind the mask
who asked
so little of me
yet,
stole so much
and door
number one
and door
number two
are really
the same
as door
number three
it doesn't
matter which
one you pick,
Monty
is too quick
and will
rotate
the Amana
Radar Range
and the
woman will
fall down
the stairs
on the price
is right,
that's right,
she tumbled
and took
a huge
fall
like
all of us
Humpty
Dumpty
we all sat
on that same wall
and cracked
into shivering
slivered pieces
of unmasked pain
drained
of all our
blood
by the same
man
who stole
the rain
and made it
ash on top
of the mountain
go tell it!
you think
it will hear?
another accident
my god
tells me
there aren't
any accidents
just another random
act of violence
in my family
only to
re-arrange
my brain
until it
squirms
in severe pain
out the worm holes
sideways
a lame way
to live
out the rest
of your life
in through
the side door
backwards
ass held high
mighty sky
bent black
by the puking
purple clouds
that attack
every single
form of happy
in this land
then the
pieces of grain
that became
my brain
sashays
across the stage
where it can
be laughed at
by the camaflauged
desert storm frog
that wildly
weirdly appears
in my part
of the sticks
that break
the bones
that wake
the life
of crackling bones
on the fires
of greed's delight
and i can't stand
the night
that took
the knife
and stuck
it in my back
where i cannot grab
the spot
to pull it out
and there
they are
in the hallways
laughing
and i'm dying
with my mother's
last view
from her eye
i see the same
godly sky
and i'm dying
with you,
mother
on a thousand
deserted islands
filled
with
shamed
mirage filled cities
that spoke
to me at length
on highway one
in the wagon
with all the
accidents
waiting to happen
and the one waiting
on her ticket
to pass go
and collect
the tin cup
that the
evil man
left my mother's
burnt ash in
left by the scarecrow
by the kitchen
with mrs. white
and her goddamed
rolling pin
and i never win
i pick the door
with the dud
the guy
in the zoot suit
comes by for a spin
machine cycle
warns me
of a time
when it didn't
matter
whose life was
being counted
and now,
every single hair
that is fringed
is copyrighted
by God
and the land
of the law
of blonde child
innocently
discreetly
seeing
behind
the curtain
call
last call
and the tin
man
is laying
sideways
with grey mass
oozing
out of his
head
and no red
no heart
for the tenderly
depararted
it's been sold
carried off
in a hurry
scurring
to the fevered
soul in the hospice
awaiting the transplant
of the mother's
dead heart
the shadows,
the shade of
blades of black
yesterdays
when the moon
was a man
the cow
jumped ship
and bailed too
high and rode
and
fly
fly
to
the
mother
ship
cornered
in the sky
with a
million
castles wide
then only
to dive
into the
deep sea
and find nothing
but empty tin cans
from the man
who forget to oil
his own can
in the show
that blew the holes
into my life
with a furious hell
that left
those ruby
shoes on my doorstep
that never will
work again
the tin man lied
the scarecrow
fried himself
on the high wire
trying to escape
the flying red shoe
that hit me
in the
head
with it's dewey
gloom
my personal
tornado
when all
was lost too soon
so turn off the sound
we are
in down spin
and bring
on the chocolates
and the monkey
is attacking
the back
of the man
who wears
black at
every show
and save
a dime bag
for the side lined guy
with a half smile
and frozen frown lines
on his broken brow
where tendersness
now relays
a scowl
for life
a mild reflection
at his own
sad gestation
that he couldn't
retract
with all the tears
the refractment
from the red
eyes of years
of pain
so take
the pill
with a pint
of your sauce
of your choosing
and juice
the remains
and never
let the moon
lose sight
of your green eyes
too soon
lost
in mother's
shadowed
sunlit box
that mourning
i will never
decay
as quick
as i did that day
i detest
my teeth
declare them
rotted out
just as my heart
is shredding
spitting out
the last spatter
of blood
on the wall
tested
and mistaken
for monkey blood
on my doa dea
accidental birth mark
mole
on my lip
that swears
to never
tell the truth
mark the words
of the missing man
as i burn
the candle
at one end
but the wind
whips
it
aournd
to burn my
other hand
and i'm down
for the count
and i am
countlessly
drawn
to my death bed
sorrow filled
horror head
crash call
coded blue
last call
in mother's hall
of morning darkness
and nightime
doom
this gloom
of a life
is way
overdo
i delcare
it death
throw down
the marked cards
and shoot all
your blueballs
from your
canonized
view
and crash call!
stat!
the glass curtain
has fallen at last
and guess who
is the evil
sperm
to delight
in such deathlike
story book
evil endings
pull down the moon
there is no more
room for doom
mine will be the last
when they lay
out my last
lines
for shadow
drawings
roll the bones
draw a duece
call a truce
to this deadly dispute
or else
call to arms
aim high
point blank
at the despised
evil eye
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