*

Sad Lisa



it's no shame
to figure out
it was a money game
all along
it happens
when all your
illusions
are crushed

everyone
you ever loved
you find
leaving life
too soon
or maybe,
it is you,
who cannot
leave
soon enough

who am I to judge
the trudgery
other's hearts
bear weight
that even in
waiting
the pain
has little
restraint

take the greys
blend them solid
dark purple hues
and deep navy blues

my eyes
have died
the colors
have all faded

like the tree
it looks so perfect
standing tall
near the field

nobody needs to know
that my first pet
is buried under it

the telling of truths
are just too bold
for the masses
who hold on
tight
to anything
that relieves
the hidden fright
of this temporary life

i'd burn out
if i could
trust the process

the beautiful bang theory
slightly adjusted
for the malajusted
daughter of the woods

pining for a love
lost in the deep vines
entangled
in her unsprouted
doubted heart

a final dud
a broken firework
on a rainy fourth of july

i'm destined
for an eternal
burden
of busted lust
where the jester
is anything but kind
a mean spirit
behind the laughing eyes
a lost lullaby
like this grief
my life
fades as slow
as a rust
being dusted
off a failed affair
that never generated
enough air
to spread
the wings
open

there's always a glitch
always a
tattered
mind shattering
piece of purple
hitched on
the tail end
of that shining star

the smell
of rubber burning
a tire
a smoked out desire
i'd be lying
if i wanted
to live this life
as it stands
when it falls

some of us
never get the call
and if comes,
we never heed it
no need for it
when you hear
it too late
like a bell
ringing on an
off church day
somehow,
it doesn't stay
in the heart the same way

even in death
there is that
in between space
the mind can't erase
noone can make up
for the space
that mother left

that ugly muck grey
that stays
on your shoes
like cemented glue
the taste of paste
the bitter hues
the afterbirth
the worst of the worst
the nightmare
of having to live
inside the flame
of a decaying spirit

a smashed version
of the mundane
who wishes
for
this death kiss?

that never fails
to put a dull pale
a shade of grey
on the sun

pull a massive
shadow over the moon
hide your tears
they all die too soon

it's the tedium
that questions
my existence

ashes of deep
years of grief
nothing ever complete
in my life
again

when will it end
did it ever truly begin
as i once saw it
through the eyes
of a child?

perception is lost
even color
has a cost

my turn
has come
and gone

the only magic
left is the
in between color
before dawn

before the mind
can set the heart
straight

the moment
when reality
begins to seep in
the spirit
crawls
out the night door
like a whore
without option

say no more

try to unwind
it flings back
in an eye twink,
a slinky,
a wired freak
waving
in the eye
of the forbidden
purple sky