*

oh, the faded bow

from a purple dream

did it rain?

the ticker tape parade

that never came
the horror

of seeing

it all too soon

deafening sounds

of silent wounds

that lay open

unattended

ungroomed

for anything

more in this life

there is little room

for me

my doubts

my depressive history

i can't get out

i found the missing piece

it just won't fit

i figure

if i can get

the pieces together

then i can get past it

if i can get in

then maybe

i can outlast this

bout with such doubts

of my own impemding doom

the double edge sword

i'm tied to the tragic

for life

blinded no more

by the distraction

the disillusion gone

so unfit

the amusing

social graces

that dalliance

on the grave delights

of others bound to slavery

by their warped past

infinite sinsiter family tree

i wage no more battle

with thee,my father

your tree is rootless

swimming in a bottomless sea

of mud slidesfrom hell

i can't erase the memory

of her face

the distant clouds

in the space

of time

that moment,

i graced

betroythed the betrayal

withold the symphathy

there is little emphathy

for the last one left

standing

too alive

like

a wild animal

a beast that night

riding on high

screaming shattered

dreams to a darkened highway

where even at

that very day

noone but

the

red lights

came my way

waiting for me

at death's final door

the nail

hammered

in the ziplock makeshift coffin

fuel for the masses

to feed off of

i'm nothing if not

a product

of my own tragic

existence

my god

you can't deny

the truth

when i spy

and hear

the words

the ruse

they used

to block

her continuing

painful

experience

with their cruel

form of existence

the tangled web

still encounters

in the depths

of her dream

my purple

plastic bow

torn

withered

like the flowers

left lying

hopelessly dying

on the grave

a false parade

a mere sharade

a faithless show

an ode

to one born

so brillantly bright

shining light

pure purple

the shame

to see the dream

then slowly

fade to

an unmemorable

pale lavender shade

draw the blinds

it isn't time

for her to put

the flame out

it's still hot

the body

the warmth

of breath on

her lips

so cold

like ice

the eye

all knowing

only God

can lie inside

the truth of the eye

the ribbon falls

the pale

white haired child

watches it

blow slowly

like a lost feather

poof

and with

one swift kick

it's all over

what was

what never

would ever be

the life

the innocence

torn

the life

she knew

stripped away

no more the glue
just pasty white skin

lying vacated

waiting

for the next

train

if you hear

the sound

you aren't dying

the last bow
she's bound

to pick

it up soon
wrap it up

fine tune it all

make it come

out all pretty now,

not raw

the faded lost

lace

the eyelet innocence

when the child

falls from the grace

of the family

for taking no place

near the disgrace

they left

no human

should ever have

to face head on

alone

i find no solace

in this life

without the

lost love

the cruelest measure

tested on man

has to be his diligence

in being able

to live out his life

every single night

not a day gone by

without some momento

of tragic whine

creeping through

the tattered vines

that wrap her up

entwined

like dead swine

in an orwell shrine

unmended

fence

in due time

to fall

this tragic

flesh

freshly stuck

mindlike

fresh playdoh

glued on the hand

that betrayed us all

stabbed in the dark

her will

the mark

the beast

i'll not feast

with their kind

i demand a new life

they stole my life

raped my reality

from my mind

in one still frame

that will never

find a way

out

stripped naked

for the world

to judge

a poker face run

that failed

in the first inning

i'm done with this lie

this life half lived disguise

a pain filled purple eye

that hides her pain

and bleeds

never

a refrain

from her feeble attempts

at freeing her mother

tied to the bottom rock

that sunk the ship

that is eating

the whole isolated trip

into sacks of broken rocks

shallow shattered dreams

that never seem

like the mirage

they were that day

by the bay

that instant

i knew my life

went astray

we struck upon something
i can't punch

my way out

of this one

the omen

that will only go down

if i let it bleed fast

i'm only hindering

the evil

allowing it to last

in my own heart

take this sharp and scrape

the hesitation marks,

that is a lie

people who cut

want to die

there was no hesitation

in spirit

the vein

just sunk

like a lost spirit

searching for it's junk

under the street corner light

i'm not frightened

i'm not overtly delighted

i'm tedium at best

boredom

in a long rest

no peace for weary souls

trying to free themselves

from the chained past

that shackles

the last noise

they hear

is the sound

of nothingness

in the air

the world

just stopped the clock
that moment

rock bottom

crashed at the midnight hour

i cruised the shadows

off the wall

bounced the sound

to make it further away

but it stayed too silent

it cracked like iced

overcrystalized bones

that punctured my heart

and left me bleeding

torn apart for life

i feed off

the dark blood

that seeps

in the mud

that father

left me

to pitch

my last ditch

effortless fork in

blood on the

white rug

mother's blonde hair

wounded upright

in the deadend air

the despair

only silence

can swear by

i wanted it

to be me

laying there

inside my heart
a sound

too still

it was frightening

so silent

achingly alone

aloof in it's

mocking

of me

it chilled my bones

into the ground

with her ashes

scattered around me
the isolated

echoe

only the start

of my deafening

defiance against life

i'm hanging

upside down

bat style

bottom rung

world undone

hold tight

this ladder

i need

no sadder existence

than the knowledge

of my own resistance

to climb out of my pain