where can it go?
all of this
pain
and
sorrow
where did it all go?
the life i once knew
my empty cup
was once so fluid
full with love done
where do the dead go
when the love
no longer knows
the bonds of reproach?
sorrow
sorrow
here to stay
cry and pray
to God
my father
why?
why?
all this
endless
suffering
and
sorrow
fuel
the empty grief
inside the shells
of walking zombies
shuffling down halls
in seroquel
mad night hats
remron night dreams
day falls
screaming daylight
and noone talks
risperdal hell halls
hailing echo
i second
the rotten hand
that feeds the mouth
the spilled out pills
i refuse to kill
my soul
with rubber gels
wrapped around
a depakote night gold
sweat
salt water
Plath
near drowning
the mess of lives
gone awry
somewhere
so it seems
someone
should care
where the blind go
when the light dims
and
the blink brinks
the seams
shake and bend
the leaves
crumble in hand
tremble the man
can't hold on
for shaking
in his false
vision
a night reamed
with scheming
drag queens
on ice
one drinks
the coffee
the other man
can't hold
he shakes
in his
semi-awakeness
a tumor
on his soul
a wreaked havoc
of hell
waiting
in his home
the heart
that is
short of shattered
yet refuses
to be unborn
we are shell shocked
beyond our belief system
no longer
an escape route
no safety net
no superman
no superfly
spiderman
mother's arms
grandmother's
soft hands
gone
black bible cry
angelic
hell
comes too quick
for those sick
who wish
for love
to stay alive
in the heart
for all time
the dream died
somewhere
in back time
someone lied
in a torn out
picture book
of nursery rhyme
now
a bed
of dry
red
sea
blood
split
cracked
china
sold
in a
kitchen
convenience store
after a survey
plate after plate
of offerings
too little
too late
with no place
to take them
anymore
like a lost dove
crying for
it's better half,
the eagle
has it's nest
and never
rests
until
it's young
spring from
sprouts
of it's blood
only then
only then
will the mother fly
fly, mother fly
this current
breakdown
my recent
tour of duty
make it
to the finish line
one more time
wave the arms
open wide
blue sky
rain purple parade
roses broken
pedal pushing
mamas puking
on father again
he can't get in
for getting out
either
we are stuck
in a time share
bad luck
four walled clover
keep going over
the events
leading up to
the blood
stained
berber
white
on pale
skin
mother
death
rubbed
soaked
in
my skin
the end
the end
of my
earthly
existence
too
i felt
the blue
hue
when
you did
mother
we went
one sacrifice
one stay
one child
to live
this life
for
all
of us
to find
joy
and
a
sweet
rapture
in the
early bird's
first worm
my life
slips
into the sand
and i
quickly
fell in
stranded
hand
raised
still
no
answer
we stare
too long
at the same
bad dream
too mean
for anyone
to know
such evil
to exist
i can't
conceive
in my heart
the darkness
this world
continues
to impart
on my life
like bark
that falls
from empty
leaved trees
in summer
savagry
i
shed my skin
over
and
over
again,
like a stale
snake curling
in a corner
of the grass
where the mower
couldn't get past
the killing
god,it's all dying
i stop trying
to make
it mend
i defend
my child's
honor
till my death
betrays
my own
troubled
soul
and still
i begin again
to feel
the
same pain
though
the rain
is different
i gain
new ground
a holy sound
in my ear
i beg to differ
i want it nearer,
but the more
but the more
i listen for it
the less
i feel it
and there he is
the mad hatter
bugle boy
bungling up
my bad dream
once again
the trumpet
sounding
mean machine
i swear
on heaven's
stack of books
of life
that i once
had love full
my cup
my cup
spilled
into my lap
filled
with
glorious joys
of laughter
not a sound
worth not hearing
mother's music
the bluest flutist
played the song
for me
that sunday
mourning
when the heat
was lost
in deep freeze
coffee grinds
peeled back blinds
i defined
my life
when
she died
i became
a noone
a blank stare
a slate wiped clear
i declared war
on my soul
and life became
my whole mode
for survival
the tiny flutist
played the mother's
death dance trance
we pranced
on the graves
of other's
and delicately
waved the cross
across
the stone
of my mother's
cold
pieceless
seemingly
meaningless
now
to everyone
but me
i
the
lonely
child
always
scarred
a bit
too harsh
this life
on what's
left
of the scar
on the
dotted
heart
stained
with
wine
and
crumpets
from
the
church
i sank
when
i hurt
the most
when we
laugh
we cry
inside
now
noone knows
how to love
but for
the sake of money
and where
can you bake
that cake
in that kind
of ridiculed rain
that stained
my white
baptismal dress
with the wrought
iron blood
of mother
stained heart
beat nought
for noone
at dark
a heat of passion
declared
reaction
a cheap infatuation
with a whore
on the dance
floor
of every bar
lay it out to dry
and scan
the dead
sky
until
mother's
other
eye
opens
an ash
in
my
mouth
from
her
last
winston
a scream
wildlike
a lone wolf
crying for hell
and heaven
at the same
instant glance
my last chance
for an opera
an ending
where
the dearly
departed
never
stops
singing
now,
a deafness
that only
the masses
can sound out
in a city
so loud
you block out
the very
sound,
so bad
and by doing so
you no longer
hear the glad
the goodness
what little
left
in this
tired
land
the ice cream man
pedals
up the hill
ringing
his tired bell
and still,
noone
comes out
to play
anymore
that's not
what
streets
are for
now
the hangover
the smell
of blood
of
the new love
hurting
so much
the pedal
she mushed
the melted
heart
bled
all over
the bed
and
the roses
turned black
and i hold
the purple cross
in my hand
and will carve it
on my wrist
where i scarred
the marks
where
the twin dualities
met that night
of fitful
fright
when
even
God
could no
longer
intervene
an eve
of despair
a night
an air
that felt
like an eternity
alone in hell
ring the bell
stain the fringes
the dying
have a refuge
in the empty
part of my heart
that glances
at the sorrow
in the star
and sees
no more
of the
hopeful
dreams
of youthful
tomorrows
the good
bearing son
the soul
that
the bugle boy
stole
from
the
tiny flutist
with wings of gold
shown
like lamp light
the only path
to a home
that never lasts
only
in eternic
waves
of past wraths
forgiven
we part ways
the soul
and
i
crave
the joy
i once knew
somehow
in me and you
there must
be a way
to counter invent
a new happiness
to overflow
upon
my tattered
bloodied bows
murderous
always
in multiple disguise
the lie
the purple rose
told that night
in such
deathly scorn
such
a
cold
frozen
ice
unthawable
unfallible
thorny delight
a sight
so
silent
a sound
so
undefiant
a vibe
from
the
cello
the
angel's
blue
halo
i
will
never
again
be
frightened
in
this
life
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